【創作】世間の議論【小噺】/ [A funny] One discussion [little tale]

【創作】世間の議論【小噺】

論者A「いいですか、よく聞きなさい、分かりやすいように結論から先に言いますよ。キャベツは野菜だ。物理学者の間ではよく知られた事実だったし、その最先端の理論についても、今や市民レベルでれ理解されつつあるのです。各新聞社の世論調査がこぞって証明している通りですよ。」

論者B「毎度のことだが、話の論点をずらすのが上手いなお前、インテリ野郎はいつもそれだ。俺が高卒だからって舐めてんだろ。俺だってその筋の初歩くらい知ってんだぞ。その上で言ってんだ、リンゴは果物だ。世界中、どこ行ったって果物売り場で売られてるだろ。」]

論者A「君のその一途さには頭が下がる思いだよ。でもそれが結果として君の狭量さにもなっているんだよ。別に論点をずらす意図はないよ、ただ、物事は多角的に見るべきなんだよ。キャベツは野菜だよ。よく耳かっぼじって聞いてくれ、人の話を。」

論者B「毎度毎度もっともらしい前口上なんぞ付けやがって、俺が何と反論しようが、最初から結論を変える気なんかないくせに、お前の耳こそドリルで掃除してやりたいよ。リンゴは果物だ。」

論者A「またしても話が平行線のままになってしまって残念この上ない。これからも、せめて、私がキャベツは野菜だと君に訴え続けてきたことを、心の隅にでも置いておいてほしい。」

論者B「あんたこその毎日リンゴを百ダースほど喰って、俺の言ったことを噛みしめやがれ。」

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[A funny] One discussion [little tale] 

Debater A: " You should understand me this time, so listen to my words carefully. I will give the final conclusion first so you can comprehend better. Cabbage is a vegetable. This fact has been known well among physicists since long ago, and now, even at the level of citizens, the basis of the cutting-edge theory is common knowledge. The surveys of public opinion on every newspaper show it. " 

Debater B: "These are the same old familiar words. You're an expert who misses the point of the discussion! The educated guys always do that. Don't treat me like a fool, even though I'm a senior high-school graduate. I know the rudiments of the theory, but I say, apple is a fruit! All over the world, everybody can buy it in the fruit section of a supermarket! " 

Debater A: "I'm full of admiration for your intention, but your narrow-mindedness arises from it. I don't intend to miss the point of this discussion. The only thing is, matters must be approached from various angles. Cabbage is a vegetable. You must clean your ears, and listen to what I'm saying."

Debater B: "Every time, you make introductory remarks plausibly. No matter what I say, from the beginning, you don't intend to change your opinion. I want to clean your ears with a drill! Apple is a fruit." 

Debater A: "Our discussion is running on parallel courses, which is extremely regretful again. I hope that you can at least keep in your mind that I've continued to appeal to you, the fact that cabbage is a vegetable." 

Debater B: "You must eat a dozens of apple everyday, so chew carefully on what I said!"